So Disarming, Darling
by ViaLethe
Summary: Kaylee's got about as much use for guns as Jayne's got for wrenches, but that doesn't mean they can't be of use to each other. Kaylee/Jayne.


__Timeline: Pre-series

Disclaimer: Words are mine, world ain't.

a/n: It's always been my headcanon that these two had something going on before the start of the series, so. Feedback is always welcome!

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><p><em>So Disarming, Darling<em>

There's lotsa ways Jayne's a pretty good guy – well, better'n you might expect at first glance, at least – but sometimes, Kaylee's gotta admit the man's just really gorram annoying, no matter how many muscles he's got or how well he knows how to use 'em.

Right now, since he's having a good laugh at her – and not just any old laugh, but a real good guffaw, as her daddy'd call it – she's of the opinion that the shriveled lump he calls his brain definitely ain't among those muscles getting a regular workout.

"Is this better?" she asks, with as much acid in her voice as she used last week to scour clean some of Serenity's engine parts, shifting her grip on the gun in her hands and resisting, with a whole lotta effort, the urge to bean him over the head with the darn thing.

"Naw, that ain't it at all," Jayne snorts, coming up close to her and manhandling her til her grip's more suitable. Normally Kaylee'd take proper advantage of having him up against her like this, but now, she just ain't feeling it. "Act like you never held a gun before."

Kaylee sniffs. "Not all of us been brought up to kill everythin' looks at us sideways," she tells him.

"Dunno why the hell not. Always worked good for me."

Honestly, if he didn't have such a manly backside and a tongue that did a lotta things better than talking, Kaylee'd have to wonder what in the 'verse she's doing with him.

"Some of us are from nice, civilized places, where people don't go 'round shooting each other every day," she informs him, giving him a poke with her elbow for good measure.

Course, abs like that, he don't even seem to feel it. "Well, sure," he says. "'Nara, maybe, 'n I guess Shadow mighta been sorta civilized 'fore it got blown to bits. But what's that got to do with you?"

She almost crosses her arms 'fore she remembers that probably ain't the best idea, seeing as how she's still holding onto that gun. "Jayne Cobb, are you callin' me uncivilized?"

In any other man, that posture woulda triggered some primitive instinct, made him realize he'd mucked up but good. Jayne, course, isn't just any man, a thing made perfectly obvious to Kaylee by the way he's leering at her. "Well now, I seem to 'member you getting pretty wild down in my bunk last night, little missy."

"Mmm, yeah, better hold onto that memory there, cause it's gonna be the last one you get for a while," Kaylee says, turning to stomp off towards the engine room, though she admits the effect's kinda spoiled when she's gotta turn back to put the gun down 'fore she leaves.

Don't help none that she can hear him calling after her as she goes, "Aw, come on, how you gonna get better if'n you don't practice?"

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><p>Three long days of ignoring him later, and though she's gotta admit her nethers are getting a bit twitchy – it's a sad thing, going without when you're used to getting some on a regular-like basis – that still ain't nearly enough to get her in a forgiving mood, 'specially when Jayne hasn't seen fit to apologize. Hell, he don't even seem to realize she's mad at him, way he keeps on giving her winks and pinching at her bottom when she gets too close.<p>

And as if all that weren't bad enough, Serenity'd gone and picked today to decide that electrical system overhaul couldn't wait a day longer. Wash'd thrown a fit when the lights in the bridge suddenly weren't there no more, and Cap'n had told her she was banned from crew quarters til she got things up and working again, which didn't seem rightly fair.

Still, she thinks, heading for the engine room after a late dinner break, might be there's an upside to this; maybe Jayne got himself trapped down in his bunk, cause she ain't seen hair nor smelly hide of him in hours now.

So the sight that confronts her when she sets foot in her domain again is awful unexpected; ain't often she sees Jayne on a ladder, whole upper half of him tucked up in Serenity's workings.

Kaylee takes a minute to admire the fine view she's got, cause she wouldn't hardly be herself if'n she didn't, but it's kinda spoiled by a whole lotta cursing, and by the wrench that goes clattering to the floor.

"Useless ruttin' thing," Jayne grumbles, his head finally making an appearance, and it's awful comical, way he stops short when he spots her standing there. "Oh, hey there. I was just, uh..."

Picking up the wrench, Kaylee raises an eyebrow at him and taps it up against her palm; she mighta done more'n that, only it seems to still be in perfect condition and Serenity's floor ain't no more dented than it was before. "Jayne, Jayne, Jayne," she sighs, looking up him, "you act like you never held a wrench before."

"Have so," he says, snatching it back right outta her hand. "Just ain't expecting to get gorram shocks trying to get this ruttin' panel off."

"Well sure," she says, "cause that bit's already hot. I checked, the problem ain't up there. And what do you think you're doing anyhow, mucking around tryin' to fix things?"

"I was _tryin_' to help you." The floor shakes a bit when he hops off the ladder, and it's kinda overwhelming, having him so close up, but she's gotta admit it's a relief to not have to crane her neck quite so much. "Knew damn well you was mad at me, thought I'd do somethin' nice. But if you're gonna be all high and mighty 'bout it," he continues, "might just give up and take myself elsewhere."

And just like that, Kaylee's heart goes all soft on her. "Aw, no, don't go. Maybe you don't know what's what with the wiring, but seems to me you can make yourself handy in other ways."

"Handy," he says, grinning down at her, cause there's some kinds of wordplay Jayne's pretty adept at. "Yeah, think I can manage that."

Could be that the lights don't come on for a couple hours more, but still, Jayne proves himself mighty handy indeed.


End file.
